Why use a Parenting Coordinator?
Regardless of how carefully lawyers may have crafted divorce settlements regarding child custody, conflict continues to create distress for many parents and their children beyond the divorce. Problems frequently arise over issues that may not be specifically addressed in the parenting plan. Common examples are vacation plans, medical decisions, curfews, relations with extended family, dating, etc. The parenting plan may stipulate that parents must agree on certain aspects of their children’s lives and activities but seldom addresses how to deal with disagreements when they arise. Working with the Parenting Coordinator can help parents avoid going back to court and provide a safe setting for dispute resolution.
Parents often have many unresolved issues between them and have not yet gotten what we refer to as an “emotional divorce.” Thus, when conflict erupts children are usually caught in the middle of these conflicts—and may themselves be a factor in preventing resolution. While divorce is certainly going to be problematic for children and their parents, research and clinical observation confirm that children who are caught in the middle in high conflict divorces are at greater risk for emotional and behavioral problems, among them, anxiety, anger, depression, and diminished school performance.
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Serve as a facilitator of communication between parents.
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Guide and educate parents in identifying the sources of conflict between them and help them to address and resolve them.
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Serve in a facilitator role between parents and others in the child’s life, such as grandparents and other extended family members.
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Contact therapists, school personnel, and others to gain information about a child’s functioning as well as helping to provide a bridge for parental communication with such persons when appropriate.
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Mediate with parents around issues that have created conflict. This may be at the request of either or both parents or at the discretion of the PC when it is clear that such intervention is necessary.
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Arbitrate, when necessary, in circumstances where parents are unable to resolve their disputes. (Parents who take part in a parenting coordination process should understand that there may arise circumstances when, if they are unable to reach a mutually satisfactory decision, the PC will be compelled to make such decisions for them. (Parents, of course, have the discretion to not have a PC fulfill this role.) At all times, of course, parents can choose to withdraw from the process. In instances when their participation has been stipulated in their divorce agreement they may need to obtain the court’s permission to withdraw.
You might be wondering, "will parenting coordination work for me?"
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Click here and respond to this nine-item questionnaire. If you score over 30 points then this approach is sure to be beneficial. If you score less than 30 points, there is a reasonable chance that you can still benefit from this approach.
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Click here to read about how PCs are assigned or chosen.
